The Rubber Band Method of Disciplining, er Scratch That, Praising Your Kids.

The Rubber band method of praising your kids

Recently I came across a really interesting article about using rubber bands to discipline your kid. The Rubber Band Method of Disciplining Your Kids, which is so misleading. It’s just click bait. It’s the Rubber Band Method of Praising Your Kids. And it’s awesome. 

Don’t worry, y’all. You know I’m more of an alternative style parenting kinda girl. The rubber bands aren’t used to snap the kid. The kid never comes into contact with them at all.

They go on my wrist. They are a reminder to praise the GOOD behavior. You start with three on your right wrist and every time you genuinely stop in the moment to praise the good behavior, you move one rubber band to the left wrist.

It’s so fucking simple. I felt like I was already praising good behavior, but was I? I’m deep in week four five of severe insomnia. I forgot his lunchbox at school yesterday. I now lose my phone, which is usually in my hand, multiple times a day. I’m super itchy for some reason, I’m really, really stressed, I’m prone to my Irish temper lately, etc. So, I probably wasn’t doing a stellar job of praising the good behavior. I know I wasn’t. I was probably snapping at him and my husband.

But now, I’ve got these three rubber bands (I used  purple ones, because, vanity) as a reminder. And for me, that sort of thing WORKS. I thrive on devices of scheduling, timers, calendars, to do lists, rubber bands, etc.

So I started a week and a half ago, and holy shit. I was shocked at the result.

I moved my rubber bands in just a few hours. And this was coming off a SUPER stressful Thursday and Friday for the whole family. I was actually stunned.

A couple days of this (because, remember they were right there to remind me) and I saw a distinct change in the kiddo.

Our norm had been me asking for him to do something, him ignoring or getting distracted, me repeating in a firmer tone, his mind wandering, me escalating to demanding in an Angry UniKitty voice.

Then hurt feelings, mom guilt, and the inevitable rush to get out the damn door and to school on time.

The Rubber band method of praising your kids Most importantly, I’ve learned something about my son. He loves to hear “I’m so proud of you.” Like the little punkin shines when I say those words. He doesn’t want a prize, or candy–he wants me to be proud of him. I feel like a total dumbshit for just now discovering this about him, but now I know.

He’s asked me about the rubber bands and I explained to him that every time I show him a real act of kindness, I move it from one wrist to the other. Now he wants some of his own. He’s very concerned with making sure I’m accountable for my kindness as I am with his.

As it turns out the rubber band method of disciplining is really about changing my behavior to notice and praise the good. The embrace the awesome and let my son know every chance I get how proud of him I am.

*That cuff bracelet I’m wearing actually holds my Fitbit tracker. Fashion, kids.

Welcome to my dream bathroom.

Wayfair Blogger Pick

First of all, let my just say a huge thank you to my pals over at Wayfair for letting me curate my bathroom favorites.  Second, another thanks to them for deciding I was the blogger in their stable to pick out a perfect bathroom.

wayfair bathroom

Let’s get right to it. Our current bathroom is fine. I love my house, but if I got to scratch it and start over, these are some of the items I’d pick to create a bathroom that’s dreamy. Nice and simple, I want thinks to look clean and bright. I like whites and then I want a warmer color for my rug. Especially to bring out that pink in the peony on the shower curtain. And I’ve had white rugs. It’s a lot of work to keep them looking perfect. Especially with a 3-year-old. Because he’s in my dream world, too.

Here’s  my shopping list if you’re interested!

1) Vanity:

2) Shower Curtain:

3) Towels:

4) Mat:

Therapeutic Pole Dancing Classes -Nothing like what you’re thinking

Therapeutic Pole Dancing Classes by BeCaMe Dance My best girl, Elizabeth lured me into doing a pole dancing class with her. Only she called them therapeutic pole dancing classes. I sat and scratched my head about it after I impulsively signed up.

I thought pole dancing was what much of us think. Strippers. Sexy. Raunchy. Slutty. Etc. But I was still down to try it, because, well, there’s not much I won’t try at least once.

The therapeutic bit, well, that was completely lost on me. How pole dancing class could be therapeutic–no clue. Whatever. I could probably use tons of therapy in any form.

And as usual, a quick backstory: back in my “acting days” ( I use quotes because I’m awful at it), I was in two plays right around the same time.

A kid’s play where I was Piglet and the play Beirut, where I played Blue.

I fucking rocked Piglet. Because I am inherently silly.

But Blue, she required me to tap into this feminine side. This sorta sexy side. I wore my bra and panties the whole play as my costume. So you’d think something would have clicked and I would have been Blue the sex kitten.

Sadly, no. I was awkward and got terrible reviews (one lady even likened me to a street urchin. Fuck her).  I really did my best, but this “sexy” thing has always eluded me.

Whatever, I still got laid.

Back into this story, Saturday rolled around and it was time for the first beginners therapeutic pole dancing class.

I had actually forgotten most of my preconceived notions. I was pretty sleep deprived, which is a whole other story. We were told to just wear what we’d wear to a yoga class. I was really looking forward to this pole dancing class thingy!

When we arrived at the studio it was so serene. Okay, I thought, we’re totally not stripping in a place this beautiful. There was nothing that made me think of a strip club–not even the poles. Instead the poles looks like apparatuses that with the right amount of arm and core strength could be used as tools in dancing. Much like my beloved blocks in yoga.

We started by introducing ourselves. There were some athletes in the class, some former dancers, folks that did nothing associated with movements and even two of us who self-identified as extremely awkward.

I owned that shit right up front. As with any experience I go into, I was there to do something and it wasn’t to judge. Go hard or go home, I was all in for this therapeutic pole dancing experience.

We all started on yoga mats simple moving our bodies. Hips. A lot of hip circles. I’ve continued doing those since. We found ways to the ground and back up much like a modified child’s pose. It was all making sense. Just move. And find that movement from inside.

Most of all, stay out of your head.

There were no mirrors in the dance studio. WHAT? Right, because it’s therapeutic. It doesn’t matter how you look, what matters is how you feel. What is the movement stirring up inside of you? Are you going to retreat or face whatever it is?

I was feeling empowered, personally. I never expect to be perfect or even good at things, so to enjoy life, I embrace my flaws and have fun.

I actually wasn’t self-aware of this fact. But I’ve taken some really challenging classes in in the last year where the teachers have commented about my “energy” and how great it is. Aww, tender. I’ve never probed these teachers on what they mean. I just assume they are getting the feeling from me that I’m just there to live.

In the end, I found myself feeling really great about what our teacher Bethany had taught us. My major take away was to move softly though life. There is just as much power in that as there is in my usual plowing right through shit.

Even in other fitness related activities, moving softly can get me where I want to be.

So Denver kids, if you’re wanting to give this a try, which I highly recommend, check out Bethany’s studio and her therapeutic pole dancing classes. Please do share you experiences with me!

Also the bruises. ‘Cause, yeah, it’s a work out and you’ll end up with some really interesting foot, ankle and thigh bruises. But hey, it came out to approximately 700 calories for two hours of class. Wha-what! And although my form is awful in the picture above, look how rad that is!

Also, I promise to tell you guys why I know that and all the other fun fitness stuff I’ve been up to!


The B word: Cosmetic Botox for Migraines


A Personal Story

I feel pretty strongly that this needs a very distinct disclaimer. I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. At all. I pass out even thinking of anatomy, biology, or medical stuff. No, really I have vasovagal syncope, which made pregnancy super duper fun, and nearly failed me out of college (Woo, required science classes!). This blog is simply a discussion about my experience with botox for migraine treatment.

2012-2014 – Quick backstory: I’ve had migraines since I was 18. Pretty sporadic at first, but the older I’ve gotten they’ve become about a 3-5 times a week thing. I even had a migraine while I delivered the kid. Fuck that. I tried every drug in the book pretty much. Yes, there are some I didn’t get around to. But my list is long.  I’ve even tried *gasp* medical marijuana to treat them. Not really a gasp, I do live in Denver.

I tried medical Botox for Migraines and it didn’t work

And apparently during that awful ordeal I made my husband swear to me that he’d never allow me to do it again.

But this is different, I kept telling him.

The medical Botox for migraines is a horrid form of torture inflicted on someone already dealing with crazy chronic pain by a heartless neurologist who comes at you like a ninja with that needle and doesn’t give a shit when you faint and crumple to the shitty carpet tiled floor of his exam room.

Keep in mind. I did say that shit is my opinion and I did have an awful experience.

I was given next to NO information on what to expect or what muscle atrophy would feel like. I thought I was having a bad reaction at one point and called the heartless neurologist that I mentioned above only to have him tell me that his line was for emergencies only.

Granted, I’ve become a bit weird with things as the years have passed. Having been on such heavy narcotics for the migraines had distorted my sense and comprehension of pain. But while I was pregnant, I learned that you don’t Google medical conditions because you go crazy. So I just leave it up to the doctors to provide care. Hence, not knowing all that much about what my experience was going to be like.

As the atrophy continued I lost my ability to reposition my head on my pillow at night. I had to wear a pony tail to pull my head up and move it. Around that time is likely when I told my husband the thing about never letting me try it again.

I also broke up with that heartless neurologist. Because he was a dick. Finally! A reason to use Yelp! Continue reading

Alt Summit Recap

 Alt Summit SEO for bloggers

Yes, I was really that excited to be presenting on SEO

At a loss for words..for maybe the first time ever

I keep trying to think of what I want to say about Alt Summit. I feel at a loss for words. I had such a good and positive experience this time around.

A lot of that probably had to do with the fact that I knew more people this time. That definitely made things nice. And I had a distinct job to do there (speaking). That also made things nice. I like structure so that job bit especially helped.

I also felt like I was not nearly as guarded as I’ve been previously. Yeah, still a lone wolf, but one that didn’t think twice about striking up conversations. Or just full-on enjoying the hell out of myself. Especially with the great teams from Overstock and Munchkin. Man, those folks were fun. Excuse me, FUN.

I won’t get in to much detail, but I laid on one team’s lap and a member from one of the other team fed me the most amazing bread pudding I’ve ever tasted. Yeah, not stiff brand reps, but rather my kinda people.

And somehow, I came back with loads more business cards than usual, yet I didn’t give out many of my own. That was, um, different.

Work, bitch.

I’m still feeling pretty exhausted from the whole trip because I got greeted with a cold when I got home. Sorry for the delay in getting this out there. But I must get on it today because over on the Inflow Blog my recap went live. The deck is over there, so I won’t repost it here. Because, duplicate content = Angry Panda.  :)

Continue reading